Fixing

I'm a "Fixer".
I've been told that more than once..... Chances are, if you're a woman, you've been told that, too....
And it's not a bad thing, a gratuitous compliment, it really does ring true with a whole lot of us older women!
On a good day, we go at it with a "Bring it on" fervor....we switch into automatic, and with seemingly little effort, we git 'er done! We don't even notice...and neither does anyone else.
And it is assumed on an unconscious level that we will do it.
Nobody notices....until we don't!

This has been quite a week.
EVERY week is quite a week, for me!
I'm 79....pushing EIGHTY!
I don't know how that happened, but it happened so fast that I still can't believe it!

And yesterday, I didn't fix something.

I decided it wasn't in my job description, for once...... I gave the job to someone two full generations younger than I. And I haven't even checked to see if it is being carried out the way it should be.
But I do know that it's morning now....my phone isn't ringing. My stomach isn't in knots.
I'm seeing that the world will go on without me, and it's a good feeling!

I will have to choose whether to let that little nagger whisper in my ear that I should have fixed it myself and not put it on that inexperienced being.....but I won't.
I'll resist the urge to bore the onlookers with a list of excuses why I couldn't be there in my expected role of FIXER.....

I'm tired.....let somebody else do it, and, the outcome, whatever it is, will be good enough.....