This is a sad time in all our lives. It is also a frightening time.
Our home has always been open to others. From exchange students to our children's misunderstood classmates....to relatives needing temporary shelter...
It seems that there was always someone other than immediate family visiting or staying in our home.
We have always enjoyed folks dropping in. There was always enough food for them to stay for dinner. There were couches to sleep on when needed....It worked for us.
This past year was no different. But the outcome has been a disaster.
A friend of Bob's was welcomed two years ago..... He had been gravely ill (a pulmonary embolism)...I hadn't seen him since Bob died, so when I saw him pulling out of a side street, I waved at him and gestured for him to drop by.
He looked terrible...weak...could barely walk.
Over the next months, he was a frequent visitor.... The babies loved him....he would ride our tractor and mow our yard till it looked like a golf course....he insisted it was therapy for him, that his own yard was done in minutes....and he needed something to do.
He opened up to us....his mother depended on him for her care...he had a brother and sister who lived away, so this care fell to him. He opened up to us and didn't stop...day after day we listened to how hard his life was and how he had no help from his family...
We were his sounding board, and we tried to understand and give him a "soft place to fall"
We drove him to Charlottesville to visit his doctors.... he was here day and night, sometimes till 10 or 11.... But we felt sorry for him, so let it continue until the day he began to change....
He began to preach....to say strange things...he threw his meds over the bank and lectured a guest on The Ten Commandments...for three hours! We knew something was very wrong....stress? We tried to understand.
When it began to very negatively affect our family, we asked him to please give us some space...come when invited...
We talked to his family, hoping for insight, hoping they would help....friends reached out to him...
Very long story, but his behavior after this kindly stated request became extremely hostile....Voice mails...text messages...carefully veiled threats.
We are fearful...our once unlocked home has become a fortress....we have upgraded and use our security system.... We have a large dog, bought for our protection.
We have mace....
We have a protective order against him, which he immediately violated.
He is, for the time being, in jail. He needs to be evaluated, but his family must request it; we can't...
Unless he is totally out of our lives, we will have to live this way.....
We loved him...we trusted him.
This goes against who we are...we do not like how we feel...we do not wish the destruction of anyone, but this is where we are now.
But I, for one, will not let this one experience make me wary of others.
I will be watchful, but this is what I believe:
" Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels
unawares"
Hebrews 13:2
