My Liberation

I have just yanked the tag off my pretty flowered bedspread. Not cut, YANKED it off!
Ignored that warning not to do it under penalty of law.  What, for heaven's sake, can they possibly do to me?
Should have done it years ago, to every pillow, mattress cover, fluffy quilt......always was aggravated by those things! Today I read the next part: "Except by Consumer" .....YEARS of leaving on those pesky things for fear of breaking some stupid law....never took the time to read the "consumer permission" part.

Silly thing to write about, but it is symbolic of my attitude now.  There are things that just don't matter anymore! I don"t have to get all antsy when traffic is heavy. Where am I going, anyway, that's so important? My Charlie drove back and forth from DC for years, never complained about traffic. Put on his "tunes" and got there when he got there!
Snow: All the grumbling in the world won't change the weather. We get what we get! And wasn't that last snow the most beautiful? Ever?
That tree might fall on the house.....yeah, it might....so?
The thing on my forehead might be melanoma....yeah, it might....so?

I forget things.  I have to write them down or I might not be home when someone says she will be by.... I will tell you all about a place I've been this week, and you will say you were with me....

My cooking used to be wonderful...now there are many failures.....so? My granddaughter can cook VERY well!!

I used to be pretty....dark brown shiny hair, a tiny waist, big enough boobs. no need for makeup, but for lipstick...a date on Saturday night.
Now I have wrinkles, a big belly, gray hair, hairs on my CHIN......so?

Five years later...a perspective.

Five years ago I was in California, refreshing my life. Today I am looking back on the years since then, and realize there are events that I haven't written about....
But I will...
Right now, I will recall the most recent one. It is important that I do so.

I have started blogging on Facebook. I don't know why I do that, because here is where I should be blogging....But Facebook I find to be a real time support system. And the past week was horrible for me....Facebook friends gave me immediate support.

I had written a joyous, thankful post about Abbie...I said how much I loved her. I said that I would never be lonely with my Abbie by my side. There were two pictures of her as I tried to express my happy feelings that morning....

As is my custom, I packed my car with new things for my shop. My friend Jeanmarie and I were to go to a few Goodwills and then to our spaces in Two Times New.

Abbie was outside, as was Izzie....she wouldn't come in...
That was OK.... she often liked to stay out, and the Invisible Fence keeps her on the property.

We started out the driveway. Both dogs chasing and barking... I sped up.
We have always done that. We have told others to do that...
Stopping, I thought, would encourage the behavior...

Then that awful thud.
My Abbie!!!
I had run over my Abbie!!!!!

I ran to her and picked her up....there was no blood, no yelps of pain...
Her eyes were glazed, and I knew......I held her like a newborn. She looked at me, and I think I saw love in her eyes...I hope so...
And then she was  gone....

How many times have we been told to cherish the ones we love, to cherish the moment, for tomorrow has no guarantee?
Now I know why....
I know why.

I cherished my Abbie...I openly and privately told her...
But I don't feel better.
I don't.