I was born in 1936.... Ages ago to my great-grandchildren.... Ages ago to any of my relatives left to read this blog...... I am 79, "Pushin' 80"., as I say to the younger ones...... But today that's not considered so old; Granny Mary is "Pushin' 104"!
And this is the subject of today's blog: Comparisons of my early life and the way things are now.... WOW!
I was born October 22, 1936...in a Nursing Home....
A "nursing home"? That's where old people, infirm people, people who can no longer care for themselves stay.... Yes, I was born in a nursing home, Mom told me....
In Falls Church, there was no hospital.....back then, a lot of births were home births, many attended by whoever was there.
But Mom was modern, or her doctor was, so she went a few blocks away to the nursing home and had me. I don't think she had anesthesia, either. Mom never said.
Dad paced back and forth, smoked cigarettes, as was the custom, and saw me when I was presentable.
They brought me home to the brand new six thousand dollar brick home they had built next door to the Victorian home of my grandparents... I lived there for the first 21 years of my life.
My brother was 5, Mom was 30...so was Dad. A family of four, the perfect size, and we remained this "perfect example", Mom, Dad, brother, sister and our English Setter, "Spot".
School was four blocks away at the end of our street, and we, of course, walked....But my (private) kindergarten was farther away, in a house.....Billy walked me there and then returned to Madison School. More than one time, I remember riding on his back through the snow to get there.
When I was old enough, I walked with him to school... On my first day, I remember vividly being put in a room with Mrs Snodgrass.....a skinny old maid, she yelled a lot..... Betty Hughes used to cry before school, throw up sometimes...I was terrified!
But, just as my chin was trembling in preparation for howling, another teacher came for me and took me to a second grade classroom. I had tested second grade level...saved from Mrs. Snodgrass!
Mrs Fravel was soft spoken...she smiled....and I thrived there.
This was a very interesting thing, in retrospect. I wasn't allowed to enter the public school because the cut-off date for first grade was September. My birthday was in October. So, I was put in private kindergarten.
But I could read! And that made the difference....I tested second grade level. No pre-school at age 3 or 4, just a good kindergarten teacher who used (Gasp!) PHONICS!!!!
Today's babies are expected to leave their homes at age 4 and attend pre-school so they'll be "ready" for school....They come home with a list of requirements, homework to complete, school papers marked with happy faces or sad faces... It is now February. At the end of the year, like all children in our public schools, they will be tested.
Some may be able to read....some will have perfect handwriting....some will be mature enough, some will not...They will be 6, but some will still be 5....
I, the youngest in my class, tested (definitely not on a computer) well.....
But God forbid they teach PHONICS!!!!
And the parents, who with few exceptions, work all day, come home with dinner to prepare, having spent very little time with their children, must supervise homework with cranky children who have spent all day "learning" and riding the school bus, must convince their offspring that an hour of homework (for a six-year-old) is appropriate!
Tossing a football with Dad is "appropriate" .....playing with siblings is appropriate....Legos are appropriate....fighting with siblings is appropriate!
Listening to a story is appropriate, so is snuggling with Mom.... etc., etc., etc.!
Antidepressants, anyone?
Sunday, February 28, 2016
Friday, February 12, 2016
Mrs. Brooks
I called her Mrs. Brooks.
To her, I was Betty......
Thus began a relationship that has lasted nearly fifty years.
Longer than any I have ever had.
She is my best friend, my confidant, my conscience....
She is my copilot behind the wheel, my social secretary, my finder of parking spaces.
I am her Taxi, her sometimes hairdresser, her landlady,....you get the picture!
Pattie had her first. Then Jane....Jane's daughter, Tammy, named her.
She called her "Brooksie", because that was as close as she could get to "Mrs. Brooks".
Tammy also noticed that she took off her shoes the minute she came into the house.
"We need to get that MAID some shoes"....
But Brooksie was NOT a maid!
She cleaned our houses, but, from day one, she was our FRIEND!!!
"What's she like?" both Jane and I asked Pattie.
"Do you think she'd clean for us?"
"I'll see", said Pattie.
Jane, Pattie, and I were friends....best friends is an accurate description.
Our husbands worked at Dahlgren, and they were best friends, too.
We spent every New Year's Eve together 'round our kitchen table....sometimes we even lasted till midnight!
We girls would have coffee several times a week. And we often were together when Brooksie was cleaning one of our houses....and when it was lunchtime, we would never even consider going to lunch without Brooksie.
As I said, we were friends!
Brooks has three children. Two girls and a boy. Her younger daughter was a year older than my youngest. Gail was the best dressed of all my children, because Brooks would
come frequently with her daughter's beautiful outgrown clothes and give them to her.
Brooksie cleaned because she wanted to; not because she needed money. She told her then husband she needed something to do, and he asked her what she'd like to do, and she told him she'd like to clean houses.
He was a good provider, but not long after, the marriage failed.
I'll never forget the day she came earlier than usual to our house. Charlie and I sat and listened to her and she cried......
Years later she started taking care of the elderly. She had job after job, taking loving care of them until they died. She cared for my dad when he needed her. She cared for my mother-in-law, which saved my marriage...much as I loved "Arbo", I desperately needed help when she came to live with us... Brooks was our ANGEL!!!
I could write a book about Brooks....There has never been another person, including kinfolk, who has had a bigger impact on this family.
I have to get ready. In a few hours I will pick her up from the beauty shop. She will spend the weekend with us. Tonight we have friends coming, and we will eat and laugh and it will be fun. Brooks arranged this a few days ago....she called me and told me so.
To her, I was Betty......
Thus began a relationship that has lasted nearly fifty years.
Longer than any I have ever had.
She is my best friend, my confidant, my conscience....
She is my copilot behind the wheel, my social secretary, my finder of parking spaces.
I am her Taxi, her sometimes hairdresser, her landlady,....you get the picture!
Pattie had her first. Then Jane....Jane's daughter, Tammy, named her.
She called her "Brooksie", because that was as close as she could get to "Mrs. Brooks".
Tammy also noticed that she took off her shoes the minute she came into the house.
"We need to get that MAID some shoes"....
But Brooksie was NOT a maid!
She cleaned our houses, but, from day one, she was our FRIEND!!!
"What's she like?" both Jane and I asked Pattie.
"Do you think she'd clean for us?"
"I'll see", said Pattie.
Jane, Pattie, and I were friends....best friends is an accurate description.
Our husbands worked at Dahlgren, and they were best friends, too.
We spent every New Year's Eve together 'round our kitchen table....sometimes we even lasted till midnight!
We girls would have coffee several times a week. And we often were together when Brooksie was cleaning one of our houses....and when it was lunchtime, we would never even consider going to lunch without Brooksie.
As I said, we were friends!
Brooks has three children. Two girls and a boy. Her younger daughter was a year older than my youngest. Gail was the best dressed of all my children, because Brooks would
come frequently with her daughter's beautiful outgrown clothes and give them to her.
Brooksie cleaned because she wanted to; not because she needed money. She told her then husband she needed something to do, and he asked her what she'd like to do, and she told him she'd like to clean houses.
He was a good provider, but not long after, the marriage failed.
I'll never forget the day she came earlier than usual to our house. Charlie and I sat and listened to her and she cried......
Years later she started taking care of the elderly. She had job after job, taking loving care of them until they died. She cared for my dad when he needed her. She cared for my mother-in-law, which saved my marriage...much as I loved "Arbo", I desperately needed help when she came to live with us... Brooks was our ANGEL!!!
I could write a book about Brooks....There has never been another person, including kinfolk, who has had a bigger impact on this family.
I have to get ready. In a few hours I will pick her up from the beauty shop. She will spend the weekend with us. Tonight we have friends coming, and we will eat and laugh and it will be fun. Brooks arranged this a few days ago....she called me and told me so.
Thursday, February 11, 2016
Reality
Today I want to write about reality.
We go through life observing others. We wonder what it's like to be "them".
They're so lucky.... (Not luck, hard work!) I wish my husband was that generous..... (But yours is a good father!) Her home is immaculate......(But you are one helluva cook!!) I'm glad MY kids don't act that way....(Oh, but your kids DO!) Look at their beautiful home.... (But there's no money left for fun!) They are faithful Christians....(To others, but not at home)
I wish I could do something for Humanity....(You are raising good kids; you are doing your job and doing it well. THAT is, for now, your contribution to Humanity)
We get so caught up in appearances, do we not?
We think that by saying "no" to someone's request, we are being selfish.
We think our kids will be harmed if we deny them something.
My point is, we all have happenings in our lives.
We have births and weddings and funerals and birthday parties and arguments and picnics and bonfires and job interviews..... Our cars break down, our son gets suspended, our plumbing gets clogged.... We get past due notices in the mail, our dog chews up a neighbor's shoe.....
Happenings....constant demands, both good and bad.
We all have expectations of others that they can't meet.... and neither can we meet theirs.
And therein lies a clue to getting along with others:
Just stop before we make judgments about our friends and relatives....we are ALL dealing with life as best we can.....FORGIVE the shortcomings of others.... (we have them, too!)
'Nuff said, don't ya think?
We go through life observing others. We wonder what it's like to be "them".
They're so lucky.... (Not luck, hard work!) I wish my husband was that generous..... (But yours is a good father!) Her home is immaculate......(But you are one helluva cook!!) I'm glad MY kids don't act that way....(Oh, but your kids DO!) Look at their beautiful home.... (But there's no money left for fun!) They are faithful Christians....(To others, but not at home)
I wish I could do something for Humanity....(You are raising good kids; you are doing your job and doing it well. THAT is, for now, your contribution to Humanity)
We get so caught up in appearances, do we not?
We think that by saying "no" to someone's request, we are being selfish.
We think our kids will be harmed if we deny them something.
My point is, we all have happenings in our lives.
We have births and weddings and funerals and birthday parties and arguments and picnics and bonfires and job interviews..... Our cars break down, our son gets suspended, our plumbing gets clogged.... We get past due notices in the mail, our dog chews up a neighbor's shoe.....
Happenings....constant demands, both good and bad.
We all have expectations of others that they can't meet.... and neither can we meet theirs.
And therein lies a clue to getting along with others:
Just stop before we make judgments about our friends and relatives....we are ALL dealing with life as best we can.....FORGIVE the shortcomings of others.... (we have them, too!)
'Nuff said, don't ya think?
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