Five years ago I was in California, refreshing my life. Today I am looking back on the years since then, and realize there are events that I haven't written about....
But I will...
Right now, I will recall the most recent one. It is important that I do so.
I have started blogging on Facebook. I don't know why I do that, because here is where I should be blogging....But Facebook I find to be a real time support system. And the past week was horrible for me....Facebook friends gave me immediate support.
I had written a joyous, thankful post about Abbie...I said how much I loved her. I said that I would never be lonely with my Abbie by my side. There were two pictures of her as I tried to express my happy feelings that morning....
As is my custom, I packed my car with new things for my shop. My friend Jeanmarie and I were to go to a few Goodwills and then to our spaces in Two Times New.
Abbie was outside, as was Izzie....she wouldn't come in...
That was OK.... she often liked to stay out, and the Invisible Fence keeps her on the property.
We started out the driveway. Both dogs chasing and barking... I sped up.
We have always done that. We have told others to do that...
Stopping, I thought, would encourage the behavior...
Then that awful thud.
My Abbie!!!
I had run over my Abbie!!!!!
I ran to her and picked her up....there was no blood, no yelps of pain...
Her eyes were glazed, and I knew......I held her like a newborn. She looked at me, and I think I saw love in her eyes...I hope so...
And then she was gone....
How many times have we been told to cherish the ones we love, to cherish the moment, for tomorrow has no guarantee?
Now I know why....
I know why.
I cherished my Abbie...I openly and privately told her...
But I don't feel better.
I don't.
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